How to Write the Perfect Letter
Email is fast. A text is faster. But neither of them ends up kept in a drawer for twenty years, pulled out on a rainy afternoon, read and reread until the folds go soft.
A handwritten letter does.
There's been a quiet but unmistakable return to letter writing over the past few years — driven, perhaps, by the feeling that digital communication, for all its convenience, doesn't quite carry the weight of something written by hand. A letter takes time. It takes thought. It takes the willingness to sit down with a pen and say something properly. And that, it turns out, is exactly what makes it matter.
If you haven't written a personal letter in a while - or ever - here's everything you need to know.
Start With the Right Materials
This might seem like a small thing. It isn't.
Writing on beautiful paper changes the experience of writing. There's a reason people who love to write also tend to love stationery - the right paper, with the right pen, makes the whole process feel more considered and more pleasurable. And when the letter arrives, the quality of the materials signals to the recipient that this was something worth doing properly.
You don't need anything elaborate. A good writing set - paper and envelopes that belong together - is the simplest starting point. If you write regularly, you might also consider a fountain pen: the experience of writing with one is genuinely different from a biro, and the lines it produces have a quality that's hard to replicate.
At a minimum: choose paper that feels substantial in the hand, and envelopes that close cleanly. The details matter more than you'd think.
Browse our correspondence collection and writing sets for somewhere to start.
Choose Your Opening Carefully
The first line of a letter sets the tone for everything that follows. It tells the person receiving it who is writing to them, and why - and it signals immediately whether this is going to be warm, formal, funny or somewhere in between.
A few things to consider:
The salutation. "Dear [Name]" remains the most natural opening for almost any personal letter. It's neither stiff nor overly casual, and it works across relationships. If you're writing to a very close friend you might use something more familiar — "My dear" or simply their name. If the letter is formal, "Dear Mr/Mrs [Surname]" is appropriate.
The opening line. This is where many people get stuck. The temptation is to open with something procedural - "I'm writing to…" - which immediately drains the warmth from the page. Instead, try opening with something real: a reference to the last time you spoke, something that made you think of them, a small observation about the season or the day.
Something like: "I've been meaning to write since your birthday and kept finding reasons not to - which is its own kind of answer, I suppose." Or simply: "I was thinking about you this morning and decided to actually do something about it."
The best opening lines feel like the start of a conversation, not the beginning of a document.
Think Before You Write
This is the step most people skip, and it's the one that makes the most difference.
Before you put pen to paper, spend a few minutes thinking about what you actually want to say. Not in exhaustive detail - a letter doesn't need to be planned like an essay. But having a loose sense of what you want to cover stops the letter from meandering or trailing off mid-thought.
Ask yourself: what do I want this person to feel when they've finished reading this? Reassured? Delighted? Known? The answer to that question will guide everything - the tone you use, the things you choose to share, how you bring it to a close.
Write the Way You Speak
The single most common mistake in letter writing is formality for its own sake. People who would never use the word "therefore" in conversation suddenly reach for it the moment they pick up a pen.
Write as you would talk to that person, if you were sitting across from them with a cup of tea. Use their name occasionally. Use contractions. Let sentences be short when that's how the thought naturally falls. If you're funny in person, be funny on the page. If you're more measured and thoughtful, let that come through.
Authenticity is what makes a letter worth keeping. A perfectly composed, beautifully formal letter that doesn't sound like you is less valuable than a slightly rambling one that does.
What to Actually Write About
If you're staring at the page unsure what to fill it with, here are some prompts worth considering:
What have you been doing? Not a complete account - the edited highlights. The thing that happened last month that made you think of them. The project you're working on. The book you just finished.
What are you thinking about? Letters are a good place for the slower thoughts - the things that don't fit in a text, or that you've been turning over and haven't quite resolved. A letter gives you space to think out loud.
What do you want to know about them? The best letters are a conversation. Ask questions - real ones, not "how are you." What are they finding hard right now? What's making them happy?
Something you've noticed or observed. A small detail from your daily life. The way the light is at the moment. What the street outside your window looks like. These small observations, the kind we never think to mention in conversation, are often what people remember most warmly.
You don't need to cover all of these. One or two, done properly, is more than enough.
Getting the Length Right
A letter doesn't need to be long. In fact, a short letter written with care is almost always more powerful than a long one that loses its thread.
For most personal letters, two sides of A5 paper - the equivalent of about three to four paragraphs - is a comfortable length. It's enough to say something real without asking too much of the reader. If you have more to say, write more. But don't pad for its own sake.
The letter is finished when you've said what you wanted to say. That's the right length.
The Sign-Off
The closing of a letter deserves as much thought as the opening. "Yours sincerely" is perfectly correct but impersonal. "Lots of love" is warm but might not fit every relationship or occasion. Here are some alternatives worth considering:
- "With much love" - warmer than "lots of love," slightly more considered
- "Warmly" - versatile, works across most relationships
- "With all good wishes" - slightly formal but genuinely warm
- "Affectionately" - old-fashioned in the best possible way
- "Ever yours" - for a very close friend, with a slightly literary feel
- Simply your name, with no sign-off at all - sometimes the most intimate option
Whatever you choose, sign it by hand. Even if the rest of the letter has been typed, the signature should be yours.
The Envelope
This is the first thing the recipient sees. It's worth taking a moment with it.
Write the address clearly and fully. Include a return address on the back - it's practical, and it's the done thing. If you have a wax seal or a beautiful stamp, this is the moment to use them. The outside of the envelope is part of the experience of receiving a letter, and a little care here signals that what's inside was worth the effort.
Post It Promptly
The letter you write and don't send is not a letter. Once it's finished, seal it, address it and post it the same day if you can. The longer it sits on your desk, the more likely it is to stay there.
And then wait. There are few things quite as satisfying as knowing a letter you wrote is making its way through the postal system toward someone who will be glad to receive it.
Ready to write? Browse our writing sets and correspondence collection - beautiful paper and envelopes designed for exactly this. And if you're looking for the right pen to write with, our pen collection includes everything from everyday ballpoints to fountain pens for the committed correspondent.